Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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