ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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