It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
