Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
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Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
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I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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