My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
