this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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