we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize