i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
