My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
