I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
