we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
