there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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