Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
