conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
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I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
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I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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