i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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