I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
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