I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize