Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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