so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
And then he peed in my hair
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