I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
you're hired as official boob wrangler
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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