I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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