obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Randomize