i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
