just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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