you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Randomize
