he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
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He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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