I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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