My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
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woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
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He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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