Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
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