I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
