Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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