How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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