Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize