The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
