there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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