Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
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you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
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by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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