Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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