You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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