That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize