do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.