Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.

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  (650): Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points. http://tfl.nu/731b
  Replies (5) Good night (1610) Bad night (452)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"

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  (404): its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock" http://tfl.nu/i9yu
  Replies (28) Good night (2731) Bad night (524)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.

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  (316): Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can. http://tfl.nu/zubg
  Replies (26) Good night (1191) Bad night (4004)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I don't know but we should still do that

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  (503): why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men? (541): I don't know but we should still do that http://tfl.nu/3rqy
  Replies (20) Good night (5171) Bad night (710)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.

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  (580): I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence. http://tfl.nu/vucu
  Replies (18) Good night (6753) Bad night (947)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"

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  (602): and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time" http://tfl.nu/r7we
  Replies (40) Good night (8413) Bad night (3077)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.

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  (480): is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state. http://tfl.nu/3rqa
  Replies (53) Good night (6654) Bad night (688)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  the snow is so cold on my vagina.

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  why do you have snow on your vagina?

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  vodka and heels.

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  (580): the snow is so cold on my vagina. (405): why do you have snow on your vagina? (580): vodka and heels. http://tfl.nu/uvnf
  Replies (45) Good night (6252) Bad night (1371)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.

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  (573): officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street. http://tfl.nu/ajuf
  Replies (12) Good night (3325) Bad night (1130)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.

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  (973): I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian. http://tfl.nu/8wfu
  Replies (10) Good night (2002) Bad night (511)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"

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  (603): i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys" http://tfl.nu/5hh5
  Replies (5) Good night (545) Bad night (878)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.

  (845): View more from New York

  I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"

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  (845): I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home. (845): I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip" http://tfl.nu/e0kb
  Replies (7) Good night (1871) Bad night (350)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  They took my balls.

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  (575): They took my balls. http://tfl.nu/tyz5
  Replies (11) Good night (356) Bad night (960)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control

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  (541): the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control http://tfl.nu/apyu
  Replies (1) Good night (444) Bad night (427)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester

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  (305): I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester http://tfl.nu/9j7i
  Replies (4) Good night (711) Bad night (194)

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