I wanna bring you to show and tell
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered