There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.