Texts From Last Night

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  (916): View more from California

  she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth

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  (916): she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth http://tfl.nu/a27z
  Replies (5) Good night (738) Bad night (1971)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...

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  (516): I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero... http://tfl.nu/d5tx
  Replies (24) Good night (5698) Bad night (718)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  just survived the first fart of the relationship.

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  (719): just survived the first fart of the relationship. http://tfl.nu/r3p3
  Replies (15) Good night (4120) Bad night (849)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.

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  (480): so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out. http://tfl.nu/rr3m
  Replies (91) Good night (4373) Bad night (16579)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.

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  (765): I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings. http://tfl.nu/mgul
  Replies (26) Good night (9534) Bad night (1132)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels

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  (613): you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels http://tfl.nu/5vyu
  Replies (11) Good night (1410) Bad night (3917)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?

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  (845): I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain? http://tfl.nu/0jn9
  Replies (9) Good night (4519) Bad night (931)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.

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  (575): I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm. http://tfl.nu/2mds
  Replies (8) Good night (1512) Bad night (1449)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?

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  (316): What's life without a lamp shade you wore home? http://tfl.nu/4piv
  Replies (6) Good night (1275) Bad night (679)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.

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  (801): Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight. http://tfl.nu/mlx0
  Replies (11) Good night (2058) Bad night (521)
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  (805): View more from California

  I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.

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  (805): I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights. http://tfl.nu/b17v
  Replies (3) Good night (1104) Bad night (561)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!

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  (570): Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week! http://tfl.nu/bw5p
  Replies (11) Good night (2178) Bad night (626)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.

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  (734): She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night. http://tfl.nu/qun7
  Replies (5) Good night (966) Bad night (648)
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  (619): View more from California

  You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch

  (1-619): View more from California

  Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.

  (619): View more from California

  Love you...

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  (619): You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch (1-619): Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you. (619): Love you... http://tfl.nu/dldo
  Replies (1) Good night (588) Bad night (522)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  you are like the bill nye of illicit activities

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  (512): you are like the bill nye of illicit activities http://tfl.nu/fr89
  Replies (1) Good night (686) Bad night (312)

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