Texts From Last Night

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  (209): View more from California

  Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?

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  (209): Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese? http://tfl.nu/1zro
  Replies (53) Good night (3457) Bad night (678)
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  (650): View more from California

  Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss

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  (650): Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss http://tfl.nu/9lml
  Replies (40) Good night (5788) Bad night (1519)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad

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  (303): You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad http://tfl.nu/1udj
  Replies (13) Good night (1826) Bad night (4919)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.

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  (917): It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met. http://tfl.nu/1axf
  Replies (21) Good night (4597) Bad night (1174)
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  (819): View more from Quebec

  I woke up to her vacumming the grass

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  (819): I woke up to her vacumming the grass http://tfl.nu/p4j1
  Replies (18) Good night (5396) Bad night (1104)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.

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  (850): I don't remember much but I know I looked hot. http://tfl.nu/1lsd
  Replies (19) Good night (5910) Bad night (1010)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...

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  (908): Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty... http://tfl.nu/7ob9
  Replies (13) Good night (2719) Bad night (1204)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.

  (847): View more from Illinois

  It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.

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  (847): Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic. (847): It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word. http://tfl.nu/kmzp
  Replies (10) Good night (2728) Bad night (819)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.

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  (330): My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out. http://tfl.nu/tebu
  Replies (11) Good night (1449) Bad night (562)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.

  (1-360): View more from Washington

  It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.

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  (360): I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance. (1-360): It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot. http://tfl.nu/be8l
  Replies (3) Good night (1585) Bad night (469)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!

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  (410): Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way! http://tfl.nu/jf3p
  Replies (1) Good night (460) Bad night (222)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes

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  (269): I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes http://tfl.nu/b7m2
  Replies (2) Good night (600) Bad night (337)
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  (+27): View more from South Africa

  This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.

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  (+27): This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud. http://tfl.nu/fqpz
  Replies (2) Good night (630) Bad night (293)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part

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  (330): In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part http://tfl.nu/09fb
  Replies (2) Good night (517) Bad night (263)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support

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  (404): I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support http://tfl.nu/236u
  Replies (3) Good night (504) Bad night (218)

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