Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
