Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  That text needs to switch to water.

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  (651): Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink (952): That text needs to switch to water. http://tfl.nu/83yo
  Replies (4) Good night (2337) Bad night (587)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.

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  (503): So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video. http://tfl.nu/od0z
  Replies (17) Good night (4970) Bad night (772)
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  (510): View more from California

  you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.

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  (510): you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks. http://tfl.nu/dlzp
  Replies (6) Good night (2726) Bad night (649)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.

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  (270): I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song. http://tfl.nu/5506
  Replies (14) Good night (3288) Bad night (917)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.

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  (412): Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life. http://tfl.nu/15a6
  Replies (21) Good night (3673) Bad night (887)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!

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  (724): I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it! http://tfl.nu/y71c
  Replies (3) Good night (4216) Bad night (1291)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  And to think..we used to do everything sober...

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  (724): And to think..we used to do everything sober... http://tfl.nu/tbey
  Replies (7) Good night (4922) Bad night (1042)
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  (631): View more from New York

  At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?

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  (631): At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you? http://tfl.nu/rik1
  Replies (5) Good night (3826) Bad night (1005)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.

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  (402): I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off. http://tfl.nu/dyhi
  Replies (2) Good night (1161) Bad night (921)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Twice...

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  (404): Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it? (717): Twice... http://tfl.nu/e2vh
  Replies (7) Good night (1512) Bad night (513)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Did I run away from you last night?

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship

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  (757): Did I run away from you last night? (240): Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship http://tfl.nu/2q6b
  Replies (2) Good night (845) Bad night (405)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around

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  (425): She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around http://tfl.nu/v7uu
  Replies (5) Good night (875) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now

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  (949): My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now http://tfl.nu/qkgu
  Replies (2) Good night (516) Bad night (275)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  "I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."

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  (330): "I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night." http://tfl.nu/wmyw
  Replies (1) Good night (411) Bad night (260)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.

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  (570): She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom. http://tfl.nu/qu8a
  Replies (1) Good night (630) Bad night (164)

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