i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
