Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
