Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Actions speak louder than pants.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
