Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
