So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Randomize
