I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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