Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
