Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
