Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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