I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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