Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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