im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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