and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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