Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
