That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
