I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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